i just heard my mother talking about what she wants to eat.
she went ‘there’s some hummus…hummusexual’
i can’t believe this never got me any notes i thought my mum was being extremely witty here
on this tag on a present i gave to my grandma i wrote ‘i hope santa comes down your chimney this christmas’ meant as a sneaky euphemism that i knew she wouldn’t get, and she didn’t, but she said ‘i hope he doesn’t otherwise he’ll make a mess in the lounge’ and i wAS JUST PEEING BUT I CUOUDLNT TELL HER WHAT I REALLY MEANT BY IT SO
